Better Mental Health: Princeton Counseling Service

Professional, caring counselors for the challenging times in your life.

Beginner’s Guide to Focusing on Mental Health

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These days, many people focus on their physical health. But few give much attention, if any, to their mental health.

What does mental health refer to? Mental health describes a person’s overall psychological health and well-being. It has much to do with the way you feel about yourself, your ability to manage your emotions, how you deal with challenges and the relationships you nurture.

While most people will experience mental health challenges at some point in their life, those who give no attention to their mental health could experience anxiety and depression. If focusing on mental health is a new topic for you, here are some tips to help you along:

Don’t Isolate

Nothing keeps our mood elevated like the feeling of being connected – truly connected – to other people. While texting and social media have their place, be sure to spend quality face-to-face time with friends and loved ones.

Make R&R a Priority

Are you someone that burns the candle at both ends? Most people are. Good mental health requires you to get enough leisure time so you can rest and contemplate. If you’re guilty of being “too busy,” start spending more time relaxing.

Eat Healthy

Have you ever noticed when you eat processed comfort foods, you tend to feel unwell physically and mentally? Sugary foods are bad for our mental health. That’s why it’s so important to eat wholesome, nutritious foods like grassfed meats and organic fruits and veggies!

Stay Active 

Physical activity is as important for your mental health as it is for your physical health. Regular exercise can relieve stress, elevate mood, and even help you get a better night’s sleep.

These are just some of the ways you can ensure your mental health is optimized. You may also want to speak with a licensed mental health therapist who can provide tools and a safe space to work through what’s troubling you.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please give my office a call.

SOURCES:

http://www.bcmhsus.ca/about/news-stories/stories/10-tips-to-boost-your-mental-health

https://www.mhanational.org/31-tips-boost-your-mental-health

https://www.verywellmind.com/things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-mental-focus-4115389

Filed Under: wellness

How to Support Your Mental Health Between Therapy Sessions

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Therapy is a wonderful way to explore your inner world, process your feelings, and inspire transformation. But what my clients often tell me is that a day or so after our session, they begin to feel a little lost and anxious again.

It’s important to support the progress you’ve made with your therapist in between your sessions. Here is what I advise my own clients to do in between our sessions:

Keep Your A-ha Moments in Mind

Therapy is a space for profound A-ha moments. It’s important to hold onto those in the days after your session. Think more deeply about what was uncovered and see if any other pieces of information come to the surface. It’s a great idea to have a dedicated notebook to jot down anything that may come to you. Bring this with you to your next session so you can share your additional insights with your therapist.

Read

Ask your therapist to recommend some helpful books, blogs, or articles that may offer deeper insights into your issue. While reading about your issue will not resolve it on its own, it’s a great way to supplement your therapy sessions.

Journal

I have been an advocate for journaling for quite some time, so I was thrilled when research in the Journal of the American Medical Association stated that journaling has both mental and physical benefits. Journaling not only helps to manage stress and reduce anxiety, but it also can alleviate the symptoms of depression.

If you did just these three things, you would find your time in between sessions would be more enjoyable and help to facilitate further positive change.

SOURCES:

https://www.foundationscounselingllc.com/blog/what-to-do-between-therapy-sessions.php

https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mental-health-support-tools-to-use-between-therapy-sessions/

4 Things to Do Between Therapy Sessions

Filed Under: therapy

Coping With Grief & Loss

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If you’ve recently lost someone or something, you may be going through the grieving process. Below, we explain what grief is and how long the grieving process can be expected to take. We also offer some tips on how to cope with loss.

What Is Grief?

The emotional pain that you feel after a loss is known as “grief.” Someone who’s grieving may feel a combination of shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, and guilt, which can make it difficult to eat, sleep, and engage in other routine activities. It’s common for people to lose or gain weight, become sick, and feel achy.

Many people think of grief only in terms of the death of a loved one, but it can also occur when someone loses their:

  • Health (their own health or a loved one’s health)
  • Marriage, engagement, or dating relationship
  • Friendship
  • Job
  • Money
  • House or personal property
  • Dream
  • Sense of safety (this often occurs after someone experiences a trauma)

Grief can be divided into numerous categories, including anticipatory grief, complicated grief, and disenfranchised grief.

How Long Does the Grieving Process Take?

There’s no easy answer to this question, as the grieving timeline varies from one person to another. Some individuals heal within weeks or months, while others continue grieving for years. Many people go through the five stages of grief—which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but it’s possible to heal without experiencing all (or any) of these stages.

How to Cope With Loss

Many people who are grieving a loss find it helpful to speak with a therapist. In addition to therapy, you may want to try:

  • Talking to your loved ones
  • Joining a bereavement support group or another type of support group
  • Writing in a journal
  • Turning to your faith (if you’re religious or spiritual)
  • Eating a nutritious diet
  • Exercising
  • Participating in your regular hobbies

The Help You Need to Heal From Loss

If you’re having a difficult time coping with loss, you should consider speaking to a therapist who specializes in grief. Contact us today to schedule an appointment.

Filed Under: loss

How Fitness Impacts Your Mental Health

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When most people commit to a fitness routine, they do so to improve their physical health. Perhaps they need to lose weight or find a natural way to lower their blood pressure or blood glucose. And while exercise definitely impacts a person’s physical health, it also significantly impacts their mental health as well!

Here are just some of the ways fitness positively impacts your mental health:

Helps to Relieve Stress

Have you heard that regular exercise is one of the best ways to beat the effects of stress? Physical activity is thought to reduce stress by reducing the levels of stress-related hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. And studies have found exercise can even make us resilient to stress.

Improves Self-Confidence

When we feel depressed, we don’t have the get-up-and-go to exercise. By not exercising, we put on weight, which can significantly decrease our confidence and self-worth. Committing to an exercise plan can help to rebuild our confidence and worth. In fact, studies have found regular exercise can contribute to improved body image.

Promotes a Better Night’s Sleep

We tend to overlook how important proper sleep is for our overall mental health and well-being. While a variety of factors can impact our quality of sleep, physical activity appears to be particularly influential. It seems exercise not only helps us fall asleep faster, but helps us stay asleep longer as well.

Improves Cognitive Functioning

And finally, exercise is also thought to boost our mental clarity and improve our memory. Those who have suffered from depression, anxiety or PTSD and CPTSD know that our cognitive function can take a hit when our mental health takes a hit.

These are just some of the ways regular exercise can improve your mental health. And of course, I also encourage you to speak to someone about the mental health challenges you are facing. Just as you often need a trainer to show you how to exercise properly, you may need a trainer to help you get into the best mental health of your life!

SOURCES:

The Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/exercise-and-mental-health

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/May-2016/Exercise-for-Mental-Health-8-Keys-to-Get-and-Stay

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/exercise

Filed Under: physical health

How Counseling Can Help With Big Life Changes

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They say there are only two things in life you can count on: death and taxes. I would add a third: changes. Every person goes through changes in life. And some of those changes can be significant.

Whether you are graduating, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or ending a relationship, you may find dealing with change to be stressful. But there is good news. Counseling can absolutely help you navigate these big life changes so you can make the absolute best decision for you.

Here are some ways counseling can help with big life changes:

Managing Expectations

There’s the change itself, and then there’s what we expect life to be during and after the change. Often we can feel stress when reality does not align with our expectations of reality. Counseling can help you manage your expectations so that the transition is peaceful and realistic.

A Positive Framework

Change means one door closes as another one opens. But many people put all of their focus and attention on that closing door. Focusing on an ending can make us feel depressed and anxious.

A counselor can help you focus on the new opportunities ahead of you. This can improve your state of mind, which will ultimately help you make the most of the current situation.

Self-Care

For many of us, change means burning the candle at both ends and not taking care of ourselves. Counseling can remind us (as many times as needed) that we need to make our physical and mental health a priority during this transition.

Now that you see some of the ways counseling can help you through the biggest changes in your life, it’s time to find a counselor who can help you find insight and fresh perspective. If you’d like to explore counseling further, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.

SOURCES:

https://onlinedegrees.bradley.edu/blog/six-ways-counselors-can-help-clients-dealing-with-major-change/

http://creativeresolutionsinc.com/2021/07/20/how-counseling-can-help-you-through-life-changes/

Adjusting to Big Life Changes

Filed Under: life transitions

Parenting Tips for your ‘Out of Control’ Child

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At one time or another, all parents feel like their child is acting “out of control.” But eventually this feeling passes as the event passes. But for some parents, an out-of-control child is not a fleeting phenomena but a 24/7 reality. These children constantly push the limits and seem to care very little (if at all) about the consequences.

If you are the parent of an out of control child, you must take steps to maintain your authority, not only for your child’s well-being, but for your own mental health. With this in mind, here are some tips for parenting an out of control child:

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

Do you know why many kids test their parents and their boundaries? Because they have a strong need to feel safe and secure. If they test you and you don’t bend, your child will feel safe and secure knowing YOU are in control and they don’t have to be. When you make a rule and set boundaries, be sure to always follow through with consequences.

Be Very Clear

Kids don’t hear or process information like adults do. How you speak with colleagues or employees at work will not work with your kids. You have got to be 100% crystal clear. And it’s a really good idea to write down all household rules so they know EXACTLY what will be tolerated and what won’t.

Use Positive Language

No one – especially an out of control 8-year-old – likes to be told what they can’t do. Your kid will simply focus on that negative word CAN’T. Instead, always use positive language that describes what they CAN do once they have completed a chore. 

For instance, instead of saying, “No video games until you fold the laundry,” say, “You can watch video games once the laundry is folded.” It may seem like a subtle difference to your ears, but it will land much differently in theirs.

If you’ve tried these tips and others but are still having a hard time parenting your child, it may be time for family therapy. A trained therapist can help you and your child communicate and help your child discover why they are acting out, offering tools to change their behavior.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

https://www.verywellfamily.com/help-my-kids-are-out-of-control-1094959

https://www.clevguard.com/parental-control/deal-with-out-of-control-kids/

Out of Control Kids – How to Deal With Out of Control Child

Filed Under: Parenting

How to Navigate Infertility

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Films and television shows would have us believe that conceiving a child is the easiest thing in the world. For some this may be true. But for many couples, getting pregnant seems almost impossible.

And so we seek the help and guidance from fertility specialists, convinced modern technology will help us create the family we’ve been dreaming of. We begin treatments with the hope that one of them will finally take.

Along the way, we feel a multitude of emotions, from shame and guilt to fear and sadness. Oh, and let’s not forget the unmitigated mental exhaustion.

If you are going through your own infertility journey and can relate to all of this, here are some tips to help you navigate:

You’re Not Alone

If all of your friends are having babies, your relatives have had babies, and it seems like the whole world (but you) is having babies, understand that you are not alone. In fact, according to the CDC, one in eight couples in America struggles to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy.

Do Your Homework

Before beginning infertility treatments, be sure you do some solid research. You want to look for not only a clinic with a track record of live birth outcomes that is attached to excellent labs, you also want to find a doctor that you connect with and feel comfortable with. Ask your OBGYN to connect you with someone. You may also want to ask around your group of friends to find a personal recommendation.

Self-Care

The healthier you are, the better your chances of becoming pregnant. It’s easy to let stress build-up, and then give in to those comfort food cravings. But now is the time to take optimal care of your mind, body and spirit. Eat whole foods, drink plenty of filtered water and get plenty of rest. Stay away from toxic people and situations and prioritize your well-being.

You may also find it helpful to speak with a therapist who can help you navigate the powerful emotions you and your partner are feeling. I help couples who are struggling with infertility stay positive and mentally healthy. I’d love to help you, too.

SOURCES:

https://www.premamawellness.com/blogs/blog/what-i-learned-to-expect-from-not-expecting-6-tips-on-how-to-navigate-infertility-and-find-community

Even Miracles Take a Little Time: How to Navigate Infertility the Smart Way

How to Navigate the Emotions of Infertility

Filed Under: couples

How to Regulate Your Emotions with Mindfulness

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Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat of WW III. Needless to say, these events can trigger some pretty strong emotions in us.

We never want to fully deny our emotions. Feeling them is how we process the events of our lives. But there comes the point where we need to figure out a way to move through the emotions and get safely to the other side. One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness.

What is Mindfulness & How Can It Help?

Mindfulness is a simple, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is a powerful way to connect with our bodies and emotions, but in a higher state of awareness.

Mindfulness helps us regulate our emotions by putting us in a calm and relaxed state of presence. From here we can have a more mature and sensible point of view of the events in our lives. 

Second, when practiced regularly, mindfulness can help us develop skills that promote emotional maturity and self-regulation. These skills include self-awareness and attentional control.

And finally, mindfulness can increase the time between trigger and response. In this way, mindfulness acts a bit like an advanced warning system, alerting us to a potential ugly scene, giving us time to engage in emotional self-monitoring. This gives us the opportunity to choose our emotional response very, very carefully.

Getting Started with Mindfulness

There are many online resources for getting started with a mindfulness meditation practice. Spend some time searching Google and exploring Youtube for some helpful sites and videos.

If you are interested in working privately with someone on regulating your emotions, please reach out to me. I use mindfulness in my practice with clients and would be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Sources:

Four Ways Mindfulness Can Help Regulate Your Emotion

How Mindfulness Works to Regulate Emotion in Your Brain

https://mentalhealthmatch.com/articles/skills/what-is-mindfulness-and-how-to-use-it-to-regulate-emotions

Filed Under: Mindfulness

Couples: How to Regulate Yourself During Difficult Conversations

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Sharing your life with someone means having open and honest conversations, even when those conversations are a bit difficult. But that’s easier said than done.

During hard conversations, it’s common for many people to become triggered by something their partner has said. Calm one moment, but the next they’re thrown into “fight or flight” mode, their brain sensing danger. Before they know it, the most primitive part of their brain is activated in an effort to help them survive. And this is when things can get ugly. Because it’s fairly impossible to speak calmly and rationally when your entire body is in survival mode.

Luckily there are things we can do during difficult conversations to regulate our emotional responses and keep ourselves calm and level-headed.

Pause and Breathe

As soon as you start to feel triggered, pause and take a few slow, deep breaths. While deep breathing may seem like a cliche, it is actually a very powerful tool that helps us get out of “fight or flight” mode and into a more relaxed state. When we breathe slowly and deeply, it sends a signal to our brain that we are out of danger.

Use Your Senses

Another effective way to regulate your emotions in the moment is to focus your attention on a physical sensation. You could take a sip of water and really feel the sensation of drinking, or you could run your fingers along the seam of the sofa cushion.

Listen Fully

It is so common in a conversation to listen to form a response. But when we do this it is far easier to misunderstand what the other person is really saying. Be sure to listen to understand, not to form a response.

Difficult conversations are inevitable when you are in any kind of relationship. But if you use these tips to regulate yourself, you can remain calm and communicate effectively with your partner.

SOURCES:

https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/hard-relationship-conversations

How to Self-Regulate During a Difficult Conversation

https://hbr.org/2017/12/how-to-control-your-emotions-during-a-difficult-conversation

Filed Under: couples

How to Tell When You’re Feeling Burned Out

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Many people think of burnout as simply being incredibly tired after a long week or month of work or school studies. But burnout is much more than a physical exhaustion; it has in fact been called the “triad of depersonalization, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of detachment.” 

Here are some additional signs of burnout:

Pessimism

Pessimism is a major red flag that someone is experiencing burnout. And they won’t just feel pessimistic about whatever it is that is causing them big stress (job, school, relationship), they will feel pessimistic about life and the world at large.

Sleep Issues

Burnout makes it incredibly hard to get a good night’s rest. Either a person finds it hard to fall asleep, lying there wide awake for hours, or they fall asleep but then wake up throughout the night. When we don’t get enough quality sleep, it makes it difficult to cope with stress, which makes it hard to sleep, and the vicious cycle continues.

Sudden Physical Ailments

A major sign of burnout is suddenly experiencing physical symptoms that you never have before. For instance, many of my clients, with no prior history of GI upset or headaches, will begin to have chronic issues. 

Is it Time to Speak with Someone?

Burnout shouldn’t be taken lightly. You shouldn’t try to ‘tough it out’ and get on with things. Now is the time to make your mental health a priority. If you would like to speak with someone about what has been bothering you, please reach out to me.

Sources:

https://www.everydayhealth.com/burnout/unusual-signs-of-burnout/

https://positivepsychology.com/burnout/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout

Filed Under: mental health