Better Mental Health: Princeton Counseling Service

Professional, caring counselors for the challenging times in your life.

Managing Work-Life Balance

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Do you have trouble balancing work and your personal life? If so, you’re not alone. According to Mental Health America (MHA), almost 40% of U.S. adults who are employed full time reported working 50+ hours a week, and 18% work 60+ hours.

Despite how common it is for people to work long hours, having a healthy work-life balance is critical. Working too many hours—especially if it bleeds into your evenings, weekends, and holidays—can cause you to:

  • Feel stressed and burnt out
  • Strain your relationships with your loved ones
  • Neglect your hobbies and self-care activities

All of this, in turn, can negatively impact your physical, mental, emotional, and social health.

How to Achieve a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Creating a healthy work-life balance can sometimes be difficult, but it’s certainly doable. Here are some steps you can take to balance work and your personal life:

  • Manage your time. There are various time management techniques—such as Pomodoro timers—that can help increase your productivity, meaning that you’ll get more work accomplished in a shorter amount of time.
  • Multitask. If your job allows it, try to get some work done while simultaneously engaging in a self-care activity. For example, you could listen to a seminar while you go on a walk or do some laundry.
  • Set boundaries. Decide what times you’ll be starting and stopping work each day and stick to that schedule as best you can. Also be sure to set aside time for vacation days even if you’re not planning an out-of-town trip.

Get Help Balancing Your Work & Personal Life

Work-life balance plays a crucial role in our overall health and happiness, so if you’re struggling in this area, we invite you to contact us and schedule a therapy session. We look forward to helping you take the steps needed to balance work and your personal life.

Filed Under: work-life balance

Understanding Social Anxiety Disorder

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Also known as “social phobia,” social anxiety disorder causes someone to intensely fear normal social interactions. This is more than shyness or a fear of public speaking—someone with social anxiety disorder excessively worries about being judged during everyday situations such as making eye contact with someone or talking to a stranger. They may be reluctant to attend school, work, a date, or a party, and they also may feel anxious about eating in front of others, using public restrooms, or returning items to stores.

Physical Signs of Social Anxiety Disorder

In addition to feeling anxiety, embarrassment, fear, humiliation, or self-consciousness, someone with social anxiety disorder may experience:

  • Blushing
  • Difficulty catching their breath
  • Dizziness
  • Increased heart rate
  • Lightheadedness
  • Muscle tension
  • Nausea
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Voice shakiness

If someone with social anxiety disorder experiences physical signs like the ones listed above, they may also worry that others will notice that they appear anxious.

How Is Social Anxiety Disorder Treated?

Treatment for social anxiety disorder varies depending on factors such as symptom severity. With that said, many people with this type of anxiety benefit from attending counseling and taking medication such as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), a serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI), an anti-anxiety medication, or a beta blocker.

The Provider to Choose for Anxiety Disorder Treatment

If you’re worried that you have social anxiety disorder or another type of anxiety, you can rely on us for treatment. We regularly assist patients with managing anxiety, and we can do the same for you. Contact us today to request an appointment.

Filed Under: social anxiety

Nurturing Positive Relationships With Friends

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The importance of having positive friendships in your life cannot be overstated. Healthy friendships can help you feel happier and more self-confident, reduce your stress levels, and prevent you from feeling lonely or isolated. When times are good, friends can help you celebrate. And when times are bad, they can help pick you up and provide a kind shoulder to lean on.

Unfortunately, for many adults, it can be tough to make new friends and even more difficult to ensure that those friendships enhance their lives. With that in mind, here are some tips for how to build healthy relationships with friends:

  • Be an active listener. Communication is key to a positive friendship, but many of us aren’t great at listening, which can leave our friends feeling ignored and unvalued. When talking with friends, make an effort to face them, focus on what they’re saying, and ask follow-up questions. You should also avoid interrupting them and zoning out as you plan what to say next.
  • Offer advice without judgment. At some point throughout the course of your relationship, your friend will likely come to you for help with a problem. While you should be honest about how you feel, you should also try to empathize with them and respect that that might have a different opinion.
  • Make time for each other. In today’s busy world, it can often be difficult to schedule time with friends, but getting together is crucial. If you live near each other, pencil in a weekly dinner or even a monthly coffee date. Or, if you live far apart, plan a time to talk on the phone or, better yet, videochat.

Start Building Healthy Relationships With Friends

If you struggle to maintain positive friendships, you’ve come to the right place. We have extensive experience helping patients nurture healthy relationships with friends, and we’d love to do the same for you. Contact us today to schedule a therapy session.

Filed Under: relationships

Exploring Parenting Challenges by Age: Infants

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Parents face challenges at every stage of their child’s development, and infancy (birth to 1 year of age) is no exception. Here are some of the obstacles commonly faced when children are at this age, as well as some helpful parenting tips:

  • Exhaustion – Regularly feeding, burping, changing, bathing, and soothing an infant leaves little room for sleep, so it’s no wonder that many new parents become fatigued. Taking turns with your partner can make a world of difference, and when they’re unavailable, don’t be afraid to ask for help from another family member or friend.
  • Loss of identity – This one tends to be especially challenging for stay-at-home parents. After having a baby, you might begin thinking of yourself just as a parent, thereby losing your identity as a spouse, friend, and coworker. Try to get out of the house with your baby during the day—you could visit a local park or join a playgroup—and hire a babysitter every once in a while so that you and your partner can have a much-needed date night.
  • Lack of confidence – If this is your first baby, you might be questioning your parenting abilities. It’s very normal to feel this way. Luckily, there are numerous steps you can take to boost your confidence—try taking a parenting class, consulting with your child’s pediatrician, or joining a parenting group. And remember not to beat yourself up for not knowing everything right away.

Need Help Managing Your Child’s Behavior?

If you have an infant and you’re experiencing any of the parenting challenges described above, we may be able to help. We specialize in effective parenting, and we’ll be happy to discuss the issues you’re having and supply you with customized parenting tips. Contact us today to schedule an appointment.

Filed Under: Children

Don’t Get Mad, Get Involved: Helping Your Child with Class Behavioral Issues

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No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry.

The truth is, parents do the best they can and so do their children. There are a myriad of reasons why children act out at school.

Big Changes

A divorce, move to a new city, or death in the family are big life events that are hard on everyone. This is particularly true for young children who do not know how to express their feelings and have not yet developed coping mechanisms.

Sleep Issues

Has something happened to interrupt your child’s sleep patterns? Are they not getting their naps? Are they waking up frequently during the night from noisy neighbors or growing pains? Even adults act out when we don’t get proper sleep.

Self-Esteem Issues

Children develop self-esteem issues for different reasons, but one of the ramifications is changes in mood that can lead to disruptive behavior.

These are some of the reasons why your child may be acting out in school. But now the questions becomes, what can you do about it as their parent?

Talk to Your Child

First, see if you can pinpoint the cause. If it’s not something already listed, do some digging. Take your child to the doctor. Is their hearing and sight okay? Do they have any GI trouble? Are they being picked on? Are they getting enough exercise? Talk openly with your child and ask them what is going on.

Set Boundaries

If your child has never had any problems acting out in the past, they may not be clear on what is and is NOT acceptable behavior. Make it clear what you expect from that at home as well as school.

Seek Counseling

You may be able to identify and solve the issue yourself. For example, if your child was frustrated from their poor eyesight, a trip to the eye doctor may quickly solve your problems. However, if the behavioral issue stems from a big life change or poor self-esteem, you may need the assistance of a trained behavioral therapist.

If you have a child who is acting out in school and are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

Sources:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-behavioral/2018/07/8-reasons-why-your-child-might-be-having-prolonged-behavior-issues-that-arent-concerning/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/parenting-tips/2012/07/7-hints-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-kids/

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/children-medication.aspx

Filed Under: School & Academics

What is Equine-Assisted Therapy?

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Many of us have always known that we feel better and calmer when we are around nature or animals. And studies have consistently shown that there is indeed therapeutic value of human-animal interaction. So it’s no surprise that Equine Assisted Therapy has become an increasingly popular mental health treatment.

Equine Assisted Therapy is a form of experiential therapy that includes horses and a specialist psychologist or counselor working together with a client to create positive behavioral outcomes and change. Growing evidence now supports the effectiveness of treatment with horses in a therapeutic environment. 

Equine-assisted therapy can help clients of all ages who suffer from depression, anxiety, ADHD, conduct disorders, addiction, trauma, eating disorders, spectrum and health difficulties, dissociative disorders, Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, and other mental health difficulties.

How Does Equine Assisted Therapy Work?

There are therapists that have been specifically trained in Equine Assisted Therapy in conjunction with traditional protocols. These therapists guide their clients through a series of activities including observing, handling, grooming, groundwork, and structured challenging exercises focused on the client’s goals and needs.

Benefits of Equine Assisted Therapy

A variety of psychotherapeutic benefits have been reported for Equine Assisted Therapy. Here are some of them:

Builds Trust

The first step in this treatment is to be able to trust the horse and the therapist, and eventually yourself. This trust-building has a profound effect on the client’s interpersonal relationships moving forward.

Reduces Anxiety and Depression

There has been a lot of research on the ability of human-animal interaction to significantly reduce psychological anxiety and depression.

Increases Self-Esteem

Everyone’s self-esteem gets a real boost when they challenge themselves to learn and master new skills. This is particularly true of children and adolescence. Equine Assisted Therapy has people trying new things and interacting in new ways in a non-competitive, non-judgmental environment, which leads to improved self-esteem and confidence.

Mindfulness

Equine Assisted Therapy integrates mindfulness in a big way. Throughout each session, clients are asked to be present, at the moment, calm, centered, and focused. This is because horses are incredibly sensitive and they pick up other’s emotions very quickly. To be around horses requires the ability to be calm and present.

If you think or someone you know might benefit from Equine Assisted Therapy, please call my office. I would be happy to answer any additional questions you may have and discuss how this approach might help.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Depression

The Power of Vulnerability

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We live in a society that rewards those with courage and valor. We are taught from a young age that it’s good to face our fears, for doing so is often the catalyst for powerful and lasting change.

And yet, how many of us allow ourselves to be vulnerable?

Think of the amount of courage it takes to allow yourself to be in a position where your heart might get broken. To say “I love you” first. How much courage does it take to put yourself out there and make new friends? Go for that promotion? Rely on others instead of only ourselves?

The Benefits of Vulnerability

We know the obvious benefits of courage. Wars are won, bad guys are put in jail, people are saved from burning buildings. But how can we benefit from being vulnerable?

More Intimacy

Opening up to another human being and sharing your deepest emotions is what ultimately builds healthy and lasting relationships. When we expose our authentic selves, we set ourselves up for potential heartache, yes, but also for ultimate connection.

Better Self-Worth

Being vulnerable also allows us to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all. This helps us to STOP comparing ourselves to others and experience a tremendous boost in our self-esteem and self-worth.

It Begets Compassion

Getting comfortable with our own vulnerability means we can also be comfortable with others’. And this means, in those times when the people in our lives show their vulnerability to us, we can respond with compassion.

Start the Journey

As they say, every journey starts with a single step. Your journey toward embracing your own vulnerabilities will also start with a single step. This may mean spending more quiet time alone. It may mean the next time a good friend asks, “How are you?” you tell them the truth.

It may also mean digging deep and uncovering some old wounds and darkness that you have been ignoring. And for this part of the journey, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a trained therapist who can offer tools and advice.

If you’d like some assistance on your journey, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

RESOURCES:

Filed Under: Self-Esteem

Am I Codependent?

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Codependency is a term that describes an unhealthy or unbalanced relationship where one person’s needs are met while the others aren’t. Codependent people are said to “enable” the bad behavior of a loved one by supporting them, no matter if it negatively affects their own well-being.

As an example, a parent may have a hard time setting healthy boundaries by telling their grown addict son or daughter their behavior is unwelcomed and they must move out. This is a bit of a lose/lose scenario because enabling this bad behavior stalls recovery and only perpetuates the problem. In addition, the codependent parent puts themselves in harm’s way, mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically.

Codependency often stems from an individual’s low self-esteem, excessive need to please, and an inability to set boundaries. Codependents feel responsible for others’ problems and will take them on, despite the personal toll it may cost them.

Where Does Codependency Come From?

Codependency is usually developed in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where your emotions were either ignored or punished, you most likely developed low self-esteem, believing your needs didn’t matter.

Many codependents had parents who, for some reason, were unable to fulfill their role as caretakers. This dysfunction is usually the result of addiction, depression, narcissism, or other issues. In this situation, the child is forced to take on responsibilities beyond their years, taking care of younger siblings and even their own parent(s).

When we’re young, codependent behaviors are a survival mechanism. But as we become adults, these same behaviors prevent us from experiencing healthy relationships.

Signs of Codependency

Codependent people will typically one or more telltale codependency signs:

  • The belief you must “save” or “rescue” others
  • Low self-esteem
  • A one-sided relationship where one person is responsible and the other is allowed to be chronically irresponsible.
  • Going without so that others can have what they need or want.
  • Walking on eggshells around others and keeping opinions to yourself so as not to upset the other person.
  • Martyrdom – taking care of everyone else and resentful when no one cares for you.
  • A need to control
  • A need to please
  • An inability to set boundaries
  • Staying in relationships that are harmful or abusive
  • A feeling of guilt when taking care of yourself

If you can relate to one or more of these signs, there is a good chance you may be suffering from codependency.

The good news is, by committing to your own personal development and well-being, and working with a therapist who specializes in codependency, you can have a profound recovery that ultimately leads to peace, fulfillment, and true connections with others.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: toxic relationship

Silence Your Inner Critic

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Every single human being has two voices battling it out inside their head. The one voice is our champion, encouraging us to feel confident and to reach our fullest potential.

Then there’s that other voice. The one that is critical of every move we make. The one that looks at all of our perceived flaws under a microscope and calls them out with a thunderous voice. The one who tells us we can’t do anything right and we’ll never amount to anything.

Now which voice is doing the most talking in your life? If you’re like most people, your inner critic is running the show. Ever wish you could tell it to just shut up?

Here are some powerful ways you can silence your inner critic once and for all:

Be More Mindful

In order to silence your inner critic, you must first become aware of it. You cannot change what you are not aware of, right? And this is where mindful meditation comes in.

When we practice being mindful, we tune into the here and now and become FULLY aware of the present. The more you practice mindfulness, the more aware you will be when that negative voice inside you begins to speak.

In addition, mindfulness teaches us that we are not our thoughts, we are the observer of them. Soon you will begin to choose which thoughts to focus on more carefully. This is a powerful shift that can change your life!

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

In a world where 24/7 social media would have us believe that everyone else is smarter, thinner, richer and generally better than we are, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. But doing so only gives your inner critic weapons to use against you.

Practice Self-Compassion

You would never treat others the way you treat yourself. Begin to treat yourself with the compassion you would a small child or a wounded kitten you find. No one is perfect. But all of us are worthy of love, kindness and respect. We must begin to show ourselves more love, kindness and respect and we can do that by practicing self-compassion.

Hopefully these tips help you to silence that inner critic once and for all. And if you’d like more help on building your confidence and self-esteem, please get in touch with me. I work with people to empower them so they can build the life they dream about.

SOURCES:

https://www.omaritani.com/blog/how-to-silence-your-inner-critic

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201903/silencing-your-inner-critic

How to Tame and Silence Your Inner Critic: 5 Ways

Filed Under: self esteem

Mental Health Benefits of Gratitude Journals

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At some point in their life, many people will face a mental health crisis. Perhaps it is the stress from a divorce, anxiety from a move, or grieving the loss of a loved one. There are numerous ways we can tackle mental health to make our entire well-being a priority. But one method that not nearly enough people speak about is gratitude.

Gratitude, or a feeling of thankfulness, is a powerful alchemist. It can instantly and dramatically change your mood. When one is feeling grateful, it is hard for them to feel anything else. And while you can easily think about all of the things you are thankful for, it is a better idea to write them down in a journal.

Here are some of the mental health benefits of keeping a gratitude journal:

It Helps Us Feel Valued

When we recognize how many blessings we have been given, it is natural for the perception of our own value and worth to increase. This boost in value and self-esteem has been shown to decrease feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.

It Minimizes Negative Behaviors

As I mentioned, when we are focused on the positive, it is almost impossible for us to think about the negative aspects of our lives. This focus on positivity translates into better choices and behavior. We become kinder as well as more empathic and generous. These new ways of feeling and being continually perpetuate goodness coming into our life. And the new cycle continues.

It Helps Motivate Us

When we allow ourselves to feel grateful, we begin to feel more and more inspired. This newfound inspiration ignites our inner passion and motivates us to become our best selves.

I cannot recommend gratitude journals enough. I have seen them perform miracles in my clients’ lives. If you need some help getting started on your gratitude journey, get in touch with me. I would love to discuss more how gratitude journals, and counseling in general, may be able to help you with the mental health challenges you are facing.

SOURCES:

https://www.wellrx.com/news/how-a-gratitude-journal-can-support-your-mental-health/

https://www.sportskeeda.com/health-and-fitness/6-mental-health-benefits-keeping-gratitude-journal

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comfort-gratitude/202006/the-positive-impact-gratitude-mental-health

Filed Under: journaling