Better Mental Health: Princeton Counseling Service

Professional, caring counselors for the challenging times in your life.

When is it Time to Ask for Help?

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Depression is a complex mental health issue that varies widely between individuals. This is why it can be difficult for some people to recognize what may be a situational discomfort that may pass on its own, and what may be more serious and require professional help.

The Difference Between Mild and Serious Mental Health Issues

In order to measure the seriousness of a mental health issue, most mental health professionals look at what impact it has on the person’s everyday life. They also take into account the events that led to the issue.

Mild mental health issues are typically less persistent as well as less disruptive to an individual’s everyday life. Serious mental health issues, on the other hand, are often so severe that they negatively impact that person’s relationships and performance at school and work.

As an example, feeling pressure at work about an upcoming deadline will make just about anyone feel stressed and anxious. But if your anxiety becomes so great that you begin calling in sick to work to avoid the project and responsibilities, that would be seen as a disruption in your everyday life. Severe anxiety can lead to panic attacks and that is definitely a reason to seek support.

Something else to keep in mind is the context around the mental health issue. It is perfectly normal to grieve after losing a loved one or to feel anger and resentment after discovering your partner’s infidelity. While it can definitely be helpful to speak with someone during these times, you may not necessarily be experiencing a severe mental health crisis that would warrant help.

It is important to mention that the events of one’s life need not be “serious” in order for you to reach out for help. Whatever it is that you are going through and whatever feelings you are experiencing, they are valid.

Warning Signs of a Serious Mental Health Crisis

The following are some red flags of a mental health crisis that warrant asking for help:

  • Feeling sad or “down” for long periods of time (particularly without an inciting incident)
  • Noticeable mood swings from very high, like euphoria, to very low, like deep sadness or depression
  • Excessive worry
  • Feeling empty or apathetic about life
  • Engaging in self-harming behaviors, like cutting
  • Withdrawing from friends and family
  • Changes in appetite, sleep or sex drive
  • Constant fatigue
  • Thoughts of suicide

If you or a loved one are experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s time to reach out and ask for help. While the days seem dark right now, they can and will get brighter. I’d love to help you get there, so please get in touch with me so we can set up a time to speak.

SOURCES:

https://www.counseling.org/news/aca-blogs/aca-counseling-corner/aca-counseling-corner-blog/2018/03/01/knowing-when-to-ask-for-help#:~:text=If%20you’re%20facing%20a,to%20seek%20out%20professional%20help

https://jedfoundation.org/resource/mental-health-warning-signs-and-when-to-ask-for-help/

https://www.columbiatribune.com/story/sponsor-story/burrell-behavioral-health/2022/05/02/mental-health-matters-knowing-when-ask-help/9558636002/

Filed Under: counseling

Types of Anxiety Disorders

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At some point in our lives, most of us will experience anxiety. It’s actually a natural reaction to many stressors such as starting a new job, taking final exams, and becoming a new parent.

Now for many people, the anxiety will subside once the stressor goes away. But for others, anxiety becomes persistent and even excessive, even without obvious stressors, interfering with daily life. In these cases, the person is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, roughly 31% of adults in this country will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life. In fact, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the United States.

Anxiety disorders include:

  • Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • Panic disorder
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Social anxiety disorder
  • Phobias
  • Separation anxiety disorder
  • Agoraphobia
  • Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety can trigger symptoms such as:

  • Excessive fear and worrying
  • Restlessness
  • Agitation
  • Panic
  • Irritability
  • Irrational fear of danger
  • Racing thoughts
  • Shortness of breath or rapid breathing
  • Sleep issues
  • Headache and stomachache
  • Pounding heart
  • Insomnia
  • Trembling
  • Muscle tension

How are Anxiety Orders Treated?

If you are suffering with an anxiety disorder, life may feel overwhelming most of the time. But know that there is help out there for you. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, can reduce or eliminate your uncomfortable symptoms. Your therapist can also assess you to see if you are a good candidate for an anti-anxiety medication, at least to start. Of course, I have found there are plenty of alternative options, such as deep breathing, acupuncture, and other relaxation techniques, that have helped my clients find calm and peace.

If you’d like to explore therapy options, please reach out to me. Life can get better.

SOURCES:

https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety

https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-health-and-substance-abuse/what-are-the-five-major-types-of-anxiety-disorders/index.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube/202204/4-types-anxiety

Filed Under: anxiety diorder

3 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

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The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.

Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:

Be Fully Present

Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.

Use “I” Statements

One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.

Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.

So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”

See the difference?

Avoid Negative Communication Patterns

Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.

While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.

These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.

If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.

SOURCES:

https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/

https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269

https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/

Filed Under: couples

Signs you Need to Take a Mental Health Day

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Do you ever get up in the morning and wonder if it would be okay for you to take a mental health day? If so, you’re definitely not alone. In fact, research from the American Psychological Association shows that today’s workforce is experiencing job burnout at alarming rates.

What are Mental Health Days Exactly?

The good news is that taking a mental health day every once in a while can absolutely help you cope with work-related stress. But mental health days should not be confused with sick days.

Mental health days are simply those times when you need to take a break from anything work related. These personal days are used to reset your mind by focusing on activities that rejuvenate and reenergize you.

Signs it’s Time for a Mental Health Day

The following are some red flags that are letting you know you need to put your mental health first:

You Feel Run Down

Being stressed and overworked can take a toll on your mind and body. If you’ve been feeling run down for a period of time, take a break.

You Feel Angry More Often

When we feel stressed and burned out, we become angry far more easily and far more often. If you find you have been getting easily irritated, this is a sign it may be time for a mental health day.

You’re Having a Hard Time Focusing

When we’re stressed, our mental faculties take a hit and we can’t focus as easily. This makes it incredibly hard to get any work done. Which of course just makes us feel more stressed.

If you notice your cognitive abilities have declined a bit, may be time to call off work for a day of destressing.

If you have been experiencing any of these signs, I encourage you to put your mental health first and take a mental health day. And if you would like to speak to someone about how you’re feeling, please reach out to me. I’m a great listener and have numerous tools for coping with stress that I can share with you.

SOURCES:

https://info.totalwellnesshealth.com/blog/mental-health-day-from-work

10 Signs You Need a Mental Health Day

https://www.livestrong.com/article/13767705-how-to-take-mental-health-day/

Filed Under: mental health

How to Deal with Social Anxiety after COVID

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It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal.

While many people are jumping for joy with the idea of taking part in normal social gatherings and getting back to life pre-pandemic, there are also those individuals who are feeling a bit of social anxiety at the same time. This is to be understood.

Being social requires a set of skills. We learned as children how to interact with those around us. As we grew older, we learned even more of the intricate and complex social structures, rules, and more. Being away from society for a year or more has put a kink into these important skills for many of us. You may have learned how to ice skate as a kid, but if you haven’t been on skates for years, there’s a good chance you’ll break some bones!

Here are some tips for dealing with any social anxiety you may be experiencing:

Be Kind to Yourself

Many will find it absolutely exhausting trying to relearn all of the social skills they haven’t practiced in some time. It’s okay, you’re not the only one who is struggling right now. Just be kind and gentle with yourself.

Stick with Your Own Comfort Level

Some people may be feeling anxiety right now because they are unsure of how safe it is to be out in the world. If we’re honest, the talking heads on TV seem to give us mixed signals about what is really going on. All you can do is set your own boundaries and determine what you feel comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable giving or receiving hugs, don’t feel pressured by someone else. Respect your own boundaries and comfort level and take things day by day.

Take Things Nice and Easy

If you haven’t worked out physically in some time, you wouldn’t, on your first day at the gym, run for an hour on the treadmill and THEN lift heavy weights afterward. You’d take things slow so as not to hurt yourself.

Apply this same logic to your social life. If you feel out of shape socially, then take things slow. Don’t suddenly fill your social calendar with all kinds of activities and events. Start with a small gathering and go from there.

Speak with Someone

If you find your anxiety isn’t dissipating after some time, you may want to speak with a counselor. They can give you the tools to help you get out of your rut and back into a healthy and joyful life.

If you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Anxiety

Benefits of Using an Interventionist for a Loved One with an Addiction

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When a loved one is gripped by an addiction, it’s easy for us to feel helpless and fearful. We want to wave a magic wand and make all their pain and troubles go away. While that isn’t possible, loved ones can play an integral role in an addict getting help through an intervention.

What Is an Intervention Exactly?

An intervention is a gathering of close friends and family in an effort to get an addict to recognize their behavior and need for healing. The meeting essentially uses peer pressure to encourage a loved one with an addiction to admit they have a problem and seek treatment for it.

During an intervention, each loved one is given time to state how the addict’s behavior has harmed them, plead with the addict to seek treatment, and outline the consequences for not getting help. For example, a husband may state that his wife’s addiction is harming the marriage and their children and say that he and the kids will leave if the wife does not seek treatment.

Benefits of Using an Interventionist

Some friends and families will opt to stage an intervention on their own. However, the process typically has better outcomes when a professional interventionist is involved. Interventions bring out a lot of powerful emotions in people, and when emotions are heightened, effective communication can be difficult, to say the very least.

An interventionist not only educates the family on the entire process but also helps the process run as smoothly as possible, increasing the odds the addict will agree to get help. At the end of the day, that is the main objective.

Using an interventionist is particularly helpful when dealing with someone who has a history of mental illness, violence, or suicidal ideations. A professional interventionist has the tools and training to keep all participants safe so their shared goal can be achieved.

If you are planning an intervention for a loved one battling an addiction and would like some guidance, please reach out to me. I have helped countless families plan and hold successful interventions.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Addiction

Benefits of Co-Parenting (And How to Do It)

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When two people decide to separate or divorce, the first question they usually must answer is, “What’s best for the children?” Well, according to the Third International Conference on Shared Parenting, co-sponsored by the National Parents Organization and the International Council on Shared Parenting, children need both parents in their life, no matter how those two adults feel about each other. It is for this reason that most child health experts agree that co-parenting is in the best interests of children of divorce.

The latest research indicates that children of divorce, who have parents who agree to co-parent, can grow up just as well and adjusted as those children from homes where parents had successful marriages. They may actually fair a little better and have a lower divorce rate themselves and be more successful in their careers. Why is this?

Children that come from co-parenting learn how to proactively create good situations. They also see their parents working together for THEIR benefit, which gives them a healthy sense of self-worth. And, seeing parents successfully communicating with one another teaches them how to have good relationships with others.

Tips for Co-Parenting

Co-parenting will take some practice to get it right. Here are some tips for you and your parenting partner:

Make a Commitment

This journey will be bumpy. Make a commitment to your children and promise to have open and honest communication where their well-being is concerned.

Have Rules

Rules for each household should be agreed upon at the very beginning. Your children will test you both. Rules will help to ensure routine and structure, which they need greatly.

Avoid Negative Talk

While you may have issues with your ex, that is still your child’s parent. Refrain from “trash talking” the other around your children.

Seek Counsel

If you need help with lines of communication or help putting in place a comprehensive co-parenting plan, I encourage you to seek the guidance of a trained family therapist. He or she can navigate these choppy waters so everything is done with your child’s best interests in mind.

If you’d like to work with a family therapist who is caring, nurturing, and never judgmental, please reach out to my office.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Parenting, Separation/Divorce

Mental Health Habits for 2021

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We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health.

Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought.

The problem is, no matter how good you look in a bathing suit or how “ripped” you may be, or how low your cholesterol is if you aren’t mentally healthy, your life is negatively impacted.

In the age of Coronavirus, when many of us are dealing with health and financial struggles, the stress can really take a toll on our mental health. With this in mind, here are some good mental health habits to practice in 2021 and beyond:

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is like a magic bullet when it comes to mental health. Too often, when we are feeling negative emotions, we deny our full reality, that is to say, we deny all of the wonderful things that are present in our life. Be sure to take realistic stock in your life each day and feel grateful for the people, events, and things in your life that bring you joy and happiness. And be sure to share your gratitude with others!

Value Yourself

The only thing worse than dealing with grief, sadness, and stress, is doing so while devaluing your own self-worth. Be sure to treat yourself as kindly as you do your loved ones. See the good in you and practice self-care and self-compassion every day.

Lose Control

Most of us cling to the idea that we can control every single facet of our lives. It’s just not true. This desire for full control brings with it a sense of anxiety. Make this year the year you finally let go of needing to control everything.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Toxic people are bad for our mental health. It’s time to cut ties with those who bring you down in order to make room for people who will support you.
Along with these habits, you may want to consider speaking regularly with a mental health counselor, who can help you navigate any issues you may be dealing with and provide coping techniques.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss how I can help you make 2021 your best year yet!

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Anxiety, Depression

3 Reasons Why Men Should Try Therapy

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Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process them, while on bloody battlefields and balancing atop giant skyscrapers.

You could say at this point in time, men have become hardwired to compartmentalize their feelings. They have them, just as much as women have feelings, they simply select to store them away and get to them later. For this reason, most men buck at the idea of going to therapy to communicate their feelings.

The reality is, it is for the very reasons I just stated that men can greatly benefit from therapy. Here are 3 reasons why men should at least give therapy a try:

Recover Your Sense of Identity

For many generations, there was a strong definition of, and acceptance of, masculinity. Today, we are given a mix of messages from the media about what it means to be a man and how destructive “toxic” masculinity is. Add to this the fact many men grew up in homes where the father was either fully absent or emotionally absent, and many men struggle with their own sense of identity. Therapy offers men a space to create a healthy definition of what it means to be a man.

Improve Your Relationships

Because men have a hard time communicating their feelings, their female partners can often feel abandoned and confused. This can cause real problems in the relationship.

Therapy allows men to become a healthier version of themselves, one that can connect better with their partner.

Deal with Grief and Pain

Grief, loss, trauma… these are sadly a part of life. Most people, especially men, have a very hard time navigating these mental health challenges. Therapy helps men explore their own emotional pain so they can heal and move on.

These are just a few reasons why men should seriously consider trying therapy. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, Grief, Men's Issues

Creating a Parenting Plan

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In a perfect world, marriages would never dissolve. But divorce is a reality and one that impacts everyone involved, including the children. To help children feel safe and secure during the weeks and months that follow a divorce, it is important that both parties work together to come up with a co-parenting plan.

Keeping Your Children’s Best Interests in Mind

Simply put, a co-parenting plan is a comprehensive document that outlines how parents will continue to raise their children after a separation or divorce. This document will lay out things like how much time children will spend with each parent, how decisions – both major and minor – will be made moving forward, how the information will be shared and exchanged, and more.

While there are no hard and fast rules as to how a co-parenting plan should be formatted or what information should be included, it is vitally important to approach the plan’s development with your children’s best interests in mind. To create a helpful document, all issues, emotions, and pettiness should be put aside, and the focus should remain on what is best for your children.

Things to be Included

It’s important to mention that co-parenting plans may differ from state to state. Having said that, most will include the following five clauses:

1. A Brief General Statement

The plan will typically open with a general statement that the parents will be sharing responsibilities of parenting the child or children. This includes shared decision-making and shared daily routines.

2. Outline Parental Responsibilities

In this section, parents agree to communicate on all important aspects of the children’s welfare. This can include making decisions regarding health, education, and religious upbringing.

3. Specifics

This section can cover how you will actually arrange to time-share. This includes routine time, activity time, overnight stays, etc.

4. Holidays

Outline how you and your ex will handle holidays and other special observances.

5. Time Period and Amendments

All co-parenting plans should mention the length of the agreement and that the plan will need to be re-examined and possibly adjusted from time to time moving forward.

Again, these are very general guidelines. Your plan can be more explicit and specific to your situation.

Getting Help with Your Co-Parenting Plan

To create the right plan for your family, it’s recommended that you get some guidance. While a lawyer can help you with specific legalities, a family counselor can help you with communication. After all, you will need to navigate your emotions and be able to hear and be heard for the best interests of your children. A therapist can facilitate healthy and clear communication.

If you’d like to work with a family counselor to create a co-parenting plan that will help you both raise happy and successful children, please reach out to me.

RESOURCES:

Filed Under: Parenting, Separation/Divorce